ChuddurrResearch used to mean a room, a stack, a headache, and the small humiliation of changing your mind. Chuddurrs found a better way. It is vertical. It is sixty seconds. It has a man in a car.
The man in the car has done the work. You can tell because he is in a car. The chart behind him was born on another app and has traveled farther than he has. He says look at the numbers. You look at his jaw.
The method
Step 1. Feel a feeling. Name it a hypothesis so it can go out in public.
Step 2. Scroll until a stranger confirms the feeling with graphics. Graphics are peer review.
Step 3. Screenshot the part that agrees with you. Crop the part that is an ad for a powder.
Step 4. Write “do your own research” under it. This phrase, placed under a video you watched at 1.5×, is how you signal that you are the reasonable one in the room.
Worked example
You have a thought about society. There are eight billion people. Some of them made videos. That is the literature review. Some of the videos have a red arrow. That is the data. You will take 100 percent of the ones that feel like home. You have not opened a book in year zero. This is fine. Year zero is for pattern recognition.
If a friend frowns, add a second Reel. The sample size of “men who think” becomes “men whose phones can be inferred.” Congratulations. You have invented a lab and called it a For You page.
A smaller, more humiliating number
Here is a better study. How many primary sources you touched last week. How many you finished. How many would still be true if the algorithm forgot your name. If those numbers are three, one, and a PDF of Marcus Aurelius you have not opened past page twelve, you do not have a research problem. You have a bedtime.
— Betty Grokr